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pangolin20Peek at the Glossary (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Eighteen (Part II)
NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, I wrapped up our tour of the glossary. Let me attend to the reader post first:
On the second part of the glossary, Chessy points out that the existence of just a single brotherhood is absolutely ludicrous. Indeed, after a thousand years, I would expect there to be quite a variety of them.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 27
She also points out that there is no mention of Artor in the entry on the Way of the Plough. Well done, Douglass!
PPP: 80
Finally, she points out that there, so far, has been no description of what the Way of the Plough tells its followers about how to live.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 28
On part I of the prologue, Maegwin rightly points out that expecting people to have sex and then not get pregnant at Beltide makes very little sense.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 29
She also points out that saying that Magariz’s troops lost “more than 86 people” is quite clunky.
PPP: 81
Also, Epistler has drawn a portrait of me!
Very well done, Epistler! I only think Scales ought to have been more specific about the drawing, as I have genuine arms, and my wings are on my back. That aside, it is very cute… It looks like how I would envision my little sibling, if I had one. Hmmm… (taps beak) No, that is for another time.
Let us resume with the story, then!
We last left off on a “romantic” scene between Axis and Faraday, and Veremund approaching Faraday to tell her they need to talk, with his eyes glowing.
Chapter Eighteen: The Sentinels Speak
Hopefully this means we will get to learn something here…
Well, Faraday steps backwards, almost tripping over the boulder she sat on. We get this: “What was wrong with his eyes? All the tales about the evil aspects of the Forbidden she had heard as a child came rushing back to her.” So, very good idea, Veremund! It is also nice to see someone be actually afraid of “the Forbidden”!
Veremund holds out his hand to her, and he tells her not to be afraid. “We do not mean to hurt you. Come, take my hand.” This comes across as very creepy to me, I must say. Run away, Faraday!
Faraday freezes up and stands there, “heart beating wildly”. Veremund asks her to please take his hand. His tone is “soft and gentle”, and Faraday “[finds] herself” reaching out her hand. Note the wording. I do not get the impression that she wants to do this, but rather that this is because of a spell Jack attached to her. And then:
The moment his fingers touched Faraday a feeling of tranquillity flooded over her.
So he just put a spell on her to make her feel calm, so she will go along with them. And from what I have seen of the rest of the chapter, this is not treated as worthy of comment.
Look Away: 12
I am truly beginning to hate this book, I must say. (Also, “a feeling of tranquillity flooded over her”… Paolini, is that you?)
Veremund asks her if she will walk with them for a while, as “[t]he others” are waiting to talk to her, too. He begins to lead her to the nearest Barrow. Faraday asks who those “others” are, and what they want to talk about. She then realises that Veremund must have seen her talk with Axis. She panics, and says that it was “simply foolishness”, and that it meant nothing. She asks him if he please will not tell Merlion.
Veremund puts Yr down and says that he will not tell Merlion. However, what happened between her and Axis “hardly meant nothing”. Faraday counters it has nothing to do with Veremund, then, and what happens between Axis and herself is their own business. Veremund shakes his head and says that neither she nor Axis will have “very private lives in the future”.
Which Faraday ought to know by now. I do think this counts as Petty, since this is quite far from what I might expect of her.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 7
Veremund then says they have to climb a little, and she should save her breath. So they climb up one of the Barrows. Veremund is still holding her hand, and Faraday often has to lean on her other as they are climbing. After “some fifteen minutes”, she asks where they are going. We get a note that Yr is bounding up the slope “with an apparently endless supply of feline grace and energy”.
Veremund shushes her and says they are almost there. And what did you need to shush her for, then?
ASWLT: 12
We are also told that Veremund is “hardly breathing deeply at all”, because of course he is not winded. Also, I think that should be “hardly panting at all”; not breathing deeply is only to be expected after climbing the Barrow.
PPP: 82
A moment later, they reach the top. Though they are in an exposed spot, the air is “still and calm” and there is no touch of wind at all. Well, good to see that “the others” thought of that. Faraday, of course, does not notice anything off about this. From her “vantage point” at 95 metres, the campfires of the Axe-Wielders look like “a necklace of diamonds and rubies nestling around the Barrows.” Well, that is a nice simile. Then we get this:
“Look,” Veremund pointed. “They wait.”
Faraday followed his finger. “Oh!” she exclaimed, surprised.
There is nothing exactly wrong here, but this feels so unnecessary to have. Could we not have cut to “the others” directly, and have Faraday be surprised by them then?
Some “twenty paces away”, in the centre of the top of the Barrow, Ogden and Jack are sitting in “a circle of white stones”. Jack’s staff lies outside of “the ring of white stones”. Because we truly need that phrase twice in two sentences.
PPP: 83
It truly seems to me that there was quite little proofreading done on this. Faraday wonders how Jack got here, since they rode so fast. Veremund says “mildly” that Jack knows the land better than the Axe-Wielders do, and he tells her to come.
She lets herself be led toward them (poor Faraday). Yr reappears and goes to sit between Jack and Ogden as Faraday and Veremund “step[] up”. Faraday steps into the circle. Jack smiles at her, “although he [does] not rise”. He calls her “[l]ovely lady” again, and says it “gladdens [his] heart” to see her again.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 9
It certainly does not “gladden” my heart to see him back. Faraday gives him a careful look, and she notes he does not “look so simple” now, though she can still sense his “good-hearted nature”. He tells her to sit down in “this our circle”, and to know that she will be safe among them. So is this a magical circle that gives protection?
Faraday sits down “cross-legged” and tugs her skirt “over her knees and ankles”. She turns to Veremund to say something, but he sits down and puts a finger to her lips. Keep away from her, Veremund, or I think I will intervene.
ASWLT: 13
He tells her to be quiet, as she must “simply watch and listen” for the moment. They will eventually answer her questions either way, and she must remember that she is in no danger. You just controlled her mind, Veremund! She is in plenty of danger!
Come to think of it, I think it quite typical that Faraday is the one who gets this.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 8
Faraday looks around the group, and she notes that their eyes are glowing most unusually, “almost as if there were coloured lamps behind them”. And now she is not scared at all of this. I can think of no clearer sign of the mind-control going on here.
Look Away: 13
Ogden and Veremund’s eyes shine golden, Jack’s “a brilliant emerald green”, and Yr’s “a deep midnight blue”. Then we get this:
“Let us begin,” Yr said in a soft, burred voice, the end of her tail twitching slightly.
Ah, a talking cat! How quaint. It does make sense, of course, but it still feels to me like Douglass was going down a list of tropes at this point.
Faraday just “manage[s] to stifle a shocked gasp”. So she can still be shocked; that is good to see. I guess the spell only made her more trusting of these people? Come to think of it, I think this needs more points…
Look Away: 23 (+10)
There we go. Yr blinks at her, and turns back to her companions. She prompts them to say what they are. Ogden whispers “[d]iligent”, in a tone that reminds Faraday of “brothers when they chant[] the Service of the Plough”. That aside, I have not see them be “diligent” per se.
Jack says they are “careful”, and Veremund says “heedful”, neither of which I believe we have seen. They are now “chanting”, and they take turns with carrying it on. We get more adjectives: “attentive”, “mindful”, “regardful”, and “thoughtful”. For one, they certainly are not all of these things; it is not “regardful” at all to control people’s minds, after all! For another, I get the idea that Douglass simply threw in some positive adjectives that she thought fit them, as there is no… flow to them.
PPP: 83
Veremund now prompts them to say who they are. This gets “harbourers”, “keepers”, “shelterers”, and “servants”. That fits better, I think. Then they all chant “We wait for…” This gets as answers “The One” (I think you need to go to Principalis for that), “The Appointed”, “The Saviour”, and “The StarMan”. So they are all waiting for Axis? Makes sense, I think…
Finally, they all look at Faraday and they shout “We are the Sentinels!” At that, the clouds “mill[] in sudden anger” and lightning shoots through them. Thunder roars, so load that the Barrow trembles.
Well, okay then. This is… it is not wrong to have, and it is not as out-of-place as it might be, but it still is not very well executed. Especially with the thunder and lightning following, this feels like something from a stage play. And that… is a bit of a problem, since this is not a stage play?
Tone Soap: 29
Also good to know that these are indeed the Sentinels from the Prophecy! About time we had some confirmation.
Well, the “mood” is now broken, and Yr follows Faraday’s gaze to the sky. She explains that Gorgrael knows they have emerged from hiding again, and says “See his temper”. She is sure Gorgrael will seek them out “soon enough”. Oh, so we might get an appearance of the villain? How nice! Also, I think you should warn the Axe-Wielders, as they will probably get caught up in Gorgrael’s attack, too.
Faraday looks down and asks what this is, and who and what they are. She looks at Jack, because she cannot talk directly to Yr. She asks how Yr can speak. I do like that she is reasonably confused here.
Jack “smile[s] gently at her confusion”. He explains that they all “choose different forms”. So they can shapeshift? I bet it will never be used when it would be useful. He says that Yr prefers “a form that will let her be stroked as much as possible”, since she “has always been a sensual creature”. Which, if I remember right, will be about half of her total characterisation. And of course she did not assume this form because it would be handy for spying or anything. That would be sensible.
Still, it fits, so I cannot complain too much. Jack says not all of them are “so social”. He himself and the brothers “prefer solitude to company”, and prefer the “pursuits of the mind” instead of the “pleasures of the flesh”. Faraday looks at the brothers’ filthy habits, and thinks they have completely ignored the “basics of cleanliness”, too. She wrinkles her nose at this, and I completely agree.
Ogden now speaks up, which we are helpfully told is the first time he does so. As for what they are, he says, Faraday “[does] not need to know it all”. Because of course not.
This Is What The Mystery: 11
He can tell her that they are “creatures of the Prophecy”, “recruited and recreated and bound to serve [it]”. Yes, that makes me so much more trusting of them. They are “watchers and waiters”, but they are also “servants”.
Faraday forgets her distaste and blinks in confusion, as she is unable to take in all the information. She asks if they are the “Brothers Ogden and Veremund”, or “some kind of magical creatures”.
Ogden explains what we were already told, namely that Ogden and Veremund died a long while ago, and now they have taken on the identity of the Brothers. Because stealing their identity is a completely right thing to do, people!
Look Away: 24
Manage Your Info Better: 21
Because any visitors to the Keep would expect to find Brothers of the Seneschal, “[they] simply assumed the forms of Ogden and Veremund”. Given how horrible they were at playing the part, they might have been better off simply saying up front who they were!
Ill Logic: 25 (+5)
That would also have saved us having to put up with them for so long! Well, Ogden now goes to the “magical creatures” bit. He shrugs, and says that perhaps they are, but they wield very little magic, and each of them “has slightly different talents”. But that does not mean that you are not magical, Ogden. Like, I have very different talents from the SCSF, but that does not mean either of us is not magical.
Ill Logic: 26
Faraday shudders and bites her lip, noting that “[s]he [does] not want to hear any more.” Well, little wonder! Jack adopts a firm tone and says that she must hear it, and he calls her “lovely lady” again.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 10
That aside, did he just read her mind?! That is the idea I am getting, at least!
Look Away: 25
He reiterates that they are creatures of the Prophecy and serve it, and then… Well, see for yourself.
You are now also bound up in it, and you have no choice but to let the Prophecy bind you to its will.”
“No, no,” Faraday whispered. “This is madness!” She wanted desperately to get up and run, but her limbs felt heavy and refused to move for her.
…
“She must nothing, Jackass”, someone said behind her. She managed to turn her head just enough to see the speaker. It was a man-shaped green bird wearing a robe.
She redoubled her efforts to break free, and she managed to stumble to her feet and step away a bit. In the circle, the others Sentinels did likewise. The bird held out a hand to her, in which it held a feather. “Take this if you want to flee.”
She snatched it from the bird’s hand and clenched it in her own, then stepped back as well as she could. The bird stepped forward, looking at the Sentinels one by one. “Is this what you think is right? Brainwashing people to support your cause? You are a shame to Tencendor.”
Yr hissed and said, “Without us, Gorgrael will bury the whole land beneath his ice. And thanks to you, that might even happen!”
“I think you have an overly high opinion of yourselves,” the bird said. As Faraday watched, she could feel something like a ripple pass through her, and suddenly her limbs reacted as they should again. She turned and ran as hard as she could.
Before long, she reached a corner of the Barrow, and she narrowly avoided falling over the edge. A frantic look over her shoulder showed her that the Sentinels and the bird were still at the middle of the Barrow. She turned around, so she could keep a better eye on them.
As she did so, Jack tried to grab the bird. In response, it threw out its arms, and a silent shockwave rolled over the Barrow. It blew the Sentinels over the edge, but passed by Faraday without touching her.
She looked over the edge of the Barrow, and, though it was hard to see in the darkness, she though she saw the Sentinels touching down at the bottom of the slope unharmed. Looking up again, she saw the bird still stood in the circle of stones, making no move to attack her.
She used the reprieve to focus on getting her breath and her racing heart back under control. She had expected adventure when she left Skarabost, but never something like this! When she was feeling somewhat better, she looked at the feather in her hand. It was a feather of a kind she did not recognise: long and white, which meant it certainly did not belong to the green bird. Speaking of the bird…
She gathered her courage and asked, “Why did you give me this?”
The bird looked stepped a little closer and said, “That was to get rid of the spells the Sentinels had cast on you. As long as you carry the feather with you, no one can cast a spell on you without your permission. I would advise you to break it into pieces and scatter those in your food or drink. That way you will always be safe.”
She looked at the feather again. Would it truly protect her against spells? It might be worth trying anyway; if she did not want to, she could throw it away, and no one would be the wiser. As she looked at it, her mind became free to thinking once again, and her confusion grew.
“What did the Sentinels want to do? What did you do to them? And who are you?”
The bird plucked a scroll from one of the sleeves of its robe, and tossed it to her. Somehow, she managed to catch it with her free hand. “I am someone who wants to help you. As for the rest, the scroll explains it better than I could now. Best of luck, and farewell!”
It walked to the edge of the Barrow, unfolded large wings, and flew off into the night, leaving Faraday alone on the plateau. She stood in the gusting wind for a while longer, and then slowly began to descend the slope.
So, consider that my intervention.
Now for what was in the book. I see that Faraday is prevented from running away by the spells of the Sentinels, and that is somehow not portrayed as something very horrible. I am also getting the distinct feeling that all this is happening to Faraday because Douglass hated her.
Look Away: 26
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 9
As for what Jackass is saying… She does have a choice! You were the ones who indirectly introduced her to the Prophecy in the first place, you were the ones who put spells on her, and you are the ones who want to press her into this! I hate all of them, and I think I should have done worse to them in the fic.
But seriously, this scenario seems to me to fit in better with a horror story. I think I will make this count…
Resistance Is Futile: 1
Oh, I know she will eventually have a happy ending, but in the meantime…
Ogden speaks up again, telling her to remember the Prophecy, and that Gorgrael will come to overrun Tencendor, “[d]riven by all-consuming hatred, aided by his powerful magic”. The three races must unite. “That is the only way that Gorgrael can be stopped. But only one man can do it.” I have serious doubts about this. Again, why not talk to Gorgrael instead of trying to overpower him?
Well, Faraday recognises the One Man as Axis, and she says “Oh merciful Artor!” Yr immediately jumps on this, saying that “Merciful Artor” can do nothing, as it was “His minions” who drove out the Icarii and the Avar in the first place. She sweeps her tail angrily.
1) Will you stop laying into her?! She already is quite overwrought, and this will do nothing to help! …Oh, that is probably the whole point of this: give her no chance to sort out her thoughts, so she will agree to whatever the Sentinels want to.
2) “Artor’s minions”? Are we supposed to think that the followers of the Way of the Plough back then were under control of Artor, and that he wanted the Icarii and Avar gone?
Maria Monk Redux: 35
3) Also, good to see that Axis, the actual BattleAxe of the Seneschal, does not get any of this. It seems quite clear to me why not.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 10
Veremund actually “remonstrate[s]” her, saying that Faraday “cannot help her upbringing” (exactly!). “Yet she will be true. She will do her duty.” And Yr adds that “She must!”
Resistance Is Futile: 2
Because who cares what Faraday wants. After all, she is just a puppet to be used by everyone around her, is she not? I hate this, and I hope that Faraday will find a way to sabotage this, in however small a way.
We are told that Yr is only “slightly mollified”, “still trapped in her hatred of the Seneschal”. Of all the Sentinels, Yr knows the most about its “internal machinations”, and the more she knows, the more she loathes the Brotherhood. Not that we will be told what she knows.
This Is What The Mystery: 12
Well, Faraday frowns, and she says that, if the Prophecy is correct, Borneheld is the Destroyer, as the StarMan is the Destroyer’s brother. Why, it seems Faraday has a quite good trope sense. The only problem is that Douglass decided to give Axis two evil brothers.
Someone says that Borneheld and Axis have the same mother, while Axis and Gorgrael have the same father. Faraday looks at the Sentinels and asks who Axis’s father is. At that, “Yr’s lips curl[]”. …She is a cat. True, she might have made this possible for herself, but still feels… off to me, like Douglass forgot she was a cat.
PPP: 84
Yr says that not even they know that and she wishes they would, as that “would make things so much clearer.” She reiterates that they are only servants of the Prophecy, and not even they “understand all of its riddles”.
And you clearly cannot be bothered to find out, either. Why are we supposed to trust these people again?
I would like to cut here for the time being. Until next time!
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 04:53 (UTC)Why does Veremund care about... Oh, it must that expletive prophesy.
This is really creepy. She's a lone woman, surrounded by men, one of whom has already proven he can overpower her, and they aren't letting her leave or ask what's going on. (While I'm at it, Veremund preventing her from asking questions feels very patronizing to me, in a 'don't bother your pretty head' kind of way.) Worse, she's so far away that not only would no one at the camp hear her if she screamed, but if she got murdered and left there her body might never be found what with how far off the beaten path it is. This is not a setup for nice things, is what I'm saying.
You are now also bound up in it, and you have no choice but to let the Prophecy bind you to its will.”
So, if she truly has no choice because Prophesy, then free will simply does not exist in this setting. I hate accidental cosmic horror.
"Then why bother?" asked a woman, heavy-set, with a bright yellow bag hanging off one arm and a strange belt-pouch strapped around her waist, hands busily knitting.
Faraday supposed Jack said something, but she was so distracted by the mystifying appearance of the belt-pouch.
Whatever he had said clearly did not impress the woman. "If she has no choice in this," she said, "what is the point of telling her? And if she truly has no choice in this, then what choice does she have in anything? And if one person has no choice of their own, then what choice can anyone have? And without choice, what is the point of doing anything?"
"We do make choices -" began Veremund.
"Then she can choose to stay out of this," the woman snapped. "And you had better let her freely make that choice."
"She is already entangled in the Prophesy," answered Ys, "It is too late for her to choose."
"Then what is the point of this charade?" asked the woman. "Either it is meaningless pageantry or she has a real choice to make. Pick one and stick with it."
"It is not that simple," answered Ogden.
"It is exactly that simple," the woman retorted. "Which. Is. It."
The sentinels were silent for a long time.
The woman snorted and stowed her knitting in her yellow bag. "Want off this mound?" she asked Faraday.
Faraday nodded, and the woman walked over and gently shook her by the shoulder. Faraday twitched all over, and then could move freely again.
"Let's be off before they pull their wits back together," the woman said. "They're not so far gone as that Director, but they're on his route."
"How can I defend myself?" Faraday asked.
"Now that I can teach."
... I have severe philosophical issues with the notion of inescapable fate. Not anything point-worthy, I just strongly disagree with the underlying premise on theological grounds.
I do like your spitefic! I particularly like the touch of giving Faraday a way to protect herself, given the canon keeps taking away her agency.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 08:52 (UTC)Okay, I'd be more forgiving of Veremund basically saying 'don't be afraid' if we hadn't already seen that he's amoral at best.
NRSG: Indeed, and if he were not about to use magic on her.
This is really creepy. She's a lone woman, surrounded by men, one of whom has already proven he can overpower her, and they aren't letting her leave or ask what's going on. (While I'm at it, Veremund preventing her from asking questions feels very patronizing to me, in a 'don't bother your pretty head' kind of way.) Worse, she's so far away that not only would no one at the camp hear her if she screamed, but if she got murdered and left there her body might never be found what with how far off the beaten path it is. This is not a setup for nice things, is what I'm saying.
Yes, they are obviously doing this so she will have no choice but to agree to their demands. I think this book would truly be better as a horror story from Faraday's perspective.
Also, on the condescension thing, Ogden and Yr actually call her "child" here (which I forgot to mention).
"Then she can choose to stay out of this," the woman snapped. "And you had better let her freely make that choice."
Quoting this specifically because in the next bit of the chapter, they claim they "[can] not force [Faraday] into any action she [is] unwilling to undertake."
Yessss. Destroy their logic!
Well done! I do wonder who "that Director" is supposed to be...
I certainly get the feeling.
I do like your spitefic! I particularly like the touch of giving Faraday a way to protect herself, given the canon keeps taking away her agency.
Why, thank you! And giving her agency was certainly what she needs, and I did not want to wait until Wayfarer Redemption for that.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 18:38 (UTC)Well, he's the creepiest cloud of vague indecision I've ever encountered. While physically human he's written to feel like he's dissolving or coming apart in a profoundly anti-human manner, and very late in the book we get a scene from his POV where we learn that he not only thinks he has neither a soul nor free will, he actively hates the idea that he might have them.
Obviously he's an extreme and most people will not get that far along his path to damnation, but the way the sentinels present things to Faraday in this scene is wading in treacherous waters and I wanted to acknowledge that.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 20:54 (UTC)NRSG: Oh, that is certainly good to know!
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 04:54 (UTC)Yeah, what the hell kind of fertility festival expects you to get an abortion afterwards?! Come on.
Yeah, that one's definitely on him because I specifically asked were there any more details I should know but all I got to work off was "green parakeet in a robe"! ^_^
What is with bad fantasy novels trampling all over consent and free will? My guess would be that if the characters were allowed to make their own choices they might refuse to serve their preset role in the almighty Plot, and we can't have that, now can we?
This despite the fact that she was early described as a chonky kitty.
No consideration given to the dead guys at all. And yeah, this is creepy.
Yeah. I mean come on, if Axis wasn't a complete idiot he'd have arrested them on the first day because THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY USING MAGIC.
We will never learn anything further about this. In fact the only supernatural things any of these chucklefucks ever do are make with the glowy eyes and read people's minds without consent.
Why oh why was this the least bit necessary or a smart thing to do unless they're deliberately trying to intimidate her? Just explain it calmly with no yelling and drama, ffs, you pretentious assholes!
Axis would probably have attacked them on the spot and quite frankly I wouldn't have blamed him.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 08:18 (UTC)Yeah, that one's definitely on him because I specifically asked were there any more details I should know but all I got to work off was "green parakeet in a robe"! ^^_
NRSG: Well, it might just have provided the inspiration for an addition to this group, too! As for who that will be... time will tell.
What is with bad fantasy novels trampling all over consent and free will? My guess would be that if the characters were allowed to make their own choices they might refuse to serve their preset role in the almighty Plot, and we can't have that, now can we?
I would say this book is especially bad at this, what with the constant insistence that Axis is the only one who can face Gorgrael. Never mind that there is no reason someone could do something other than try to face Gorgrael in battle. And, because there are no alternatives brought up, it feels like I am supposed to think that, too. I just do not like being told how to think.
This despite the fact that she was early described as a chonky kitty.
Well, who is to say do not go together? More seriously, I get the feeling Douglass partially forgot Yr is a cat from the moment she speaks, given descriptions of her "leaning forward" and such.
We will never learn anything further about this. In fact the only supernatural things any of these chucklefucks ever do are make with the glowy eyes and read people's minds without consent.
To be fair, they did keep the wind from blowing on top of the Barrow... and later on, they put Timozel in an enchanted sleep... which leads to him getting caught by Gorgrael. They are so utterly useless, when they do not make things even worse!
Why oh why was this the least bit necessary or a smart thing to do unless they're deliberately trying to intimidate her? Just explain it calmly with no yelling and drama, ffs, you pretentious assholes!
Intimidation certainly seems to be what they are going for, considering they do not give her time to respond to what they are saying, and soon will constantly use "if you do not marry Borneheld, Axis will die" on her.
Axis would probably have attacked them on the spot and quite frankly I wouldn't have blamed him.
Me neither.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 09:15 (UTC)And never mind that he needs all these other people to help him. They don't count. Only Axis and Axis alone gets any credit.
And never mind that they're doing this to an extremely naive and easily led teenage girl, thus rendering it unnecessary as well as cruel. We keep getting this crap about "kindly faces" and "Jackass' good-hearted nature", but what we actually see on the page is a bunch of arrogant bullies.
(no subject)
Monday, 25 March 2024 20:35 (UTC)"You are now also bound up in it, and you have no choice but to let the Prophecy bind you to its will.”
"Must she?"
The Sentinels started at the unexpected voice, turning they saw a woman round forty years of age. She had frames of some sort perched on her face and wore a blue gown with truly voluminous skirts and long flowing sleeves. Strangely, her clothes eddied and billowed in absent winds.
Jack was the first to find his voice. "What are you doing here?"
The woman gave a flat look before speaking. "At the moment," she stated, voice calm with a edge of irritation, "I am trying to figure out where the bleep I have ended up this time."
Ogdan looked puzzled. "This time?" he asked.
If it weren't for the dismissive gesture, which her trailing sleeve echoed in unnatural fashion, it would seem that she hadn't even heard him. "You," she stated, her cold eyes still focused on Jack, "have not answered my question yet. Why must she allow herself to be bound to this prophecy? Will the enemy target her in particular? Are there vampires? Or worse, Pillarmen? Is there a demon in human guise favoured by Fate itself to drag her in whether she will or no? Do they even know she exists?"
Jack blinked for a bit, before blurting out, "Gorgreal wants to destroy everything!"
"And how, exactly is following the prophecy going to aid her in stopping him?"
Ogdan spoke up again "Not her, the Starman he's the only one who can!"
"And why isn't he here? I should think he needs this more then her. Or he would if you had anything actionable."
Yr took this one "He doesn't know yet, and he's too caught up in the Seneschal's lies to believe anything we'd say."
The woman raised an eyebrow "You seem to have convinced her well enough." she said gesturing towards Faraday as she spoke. The following silence stretched on for what seemed like hours. The woman sighed, and said, voice laden with a mix of disapproval and disappointment used by mothers the world over, "You didn't convince her did you."
Jack stepped closer to the woman, reaching a hand out, and the world unravelled.
One moment they where in a circle of white stones, the next surrounded by an infinity of the night sky. And there, behind the woman, loomed a massive figure with shining white skirts laden with gold embroidery that rippled off into infinity, arms, if it had them, covered by loose sleeves that continued far past any hands it might have had, and sheer white veil edged with golden lace held in place by a crown made of golden arrow heads above a mask-like face. That face was featureless aside for what might- What must be eyes in a startling sky blue.
"You tamper with the minds of others and call yourself a force for good? You lie." It was the woman speaking, but her face, which had been expressive, was now flat and emotionless, her eyes unfocused, staring off into the emptiness around them. The being behind her, however, with its face pointed and inclined towards the Sentinels, was very focused.
"We do not-"
"And you two," the being's gaze now turned to the false brothers, "you stole names and faces and positions you Had. No. Right. To." The being was now looming and leaning over the false brothers, its face mere feet away from them as it bent in ways that implied there was nothing solid under that gown. "You have sullied their good name by not bothering with more then the thinnest pretense of their honestly held beliefs and no one knows to grieve."
It them straightened, turning its gaze on Jack "And as for you," the venom in the woman's voice at odds with her continued blankness, "You have pulled this girl into your schemes without care or regard to her. Do you even see her as a person? Or is she just another pawn for your precious prophecy."
The being shifted its gaze to cover all the Sentinels "That's all any of you care about isn't it? Not the kingdom, not it's people, not even morals. Everything and everyone are tools to use in your grand purpose. Well NO MORE!" The being flung its arms out, the movement accentuated by the dramatic sleeves. "I, am Bean-Nighe! I, am the Fateweaver!" There, between its outstretched arms, a richly detailed tapestry spun into existence, and it was of such fine threads and so densely woven as to be incomprehensible. "And I declare your prophesy to be NULL AND VOID!"
At these words, one end of the tapestry began to unravel, picking up speed until it finally stopped, leaving the tapestry only half finished.
"The Destroyer will still be defeated," the tapestry started to reweave itself, differently this time as Bean-Nighe tilted its head in a way that implied a cruel smile, "but it will not be through your prophecy."
And with those parting words the world was rewoven and they were once again standing in a circle of white stones atop the Barrow.
The woman, now alone, shook herself and, with a kind smile, turned to Faraday. "Would you like a ride back to your camp? I could use an introduction."
"Um, sure." Faraday replied "But, ah, what's your name?"
"Oh, right, I'm Roslyn. Shall we be off? The carpet is over there."
"Carpet?"
~END~
Roslyn is a semi-self insert for JJBA and Bean-Nighe is what happens when a fabric manipulating stand gets its sleeves on a heavenly arrow and decides to ignore the part where "weave of fate" is a metaphor.
(no subject)
Tuesday, 26 March 2024 19:11 (UTC)NRSG: Why, hello there! It is good to see you!
Some specific notes:
"And why isn't he here? I should think he needs this more then her. Or he would if you had anything actionable."
If I recall correctly, they will claim that Axis "needs to grow" and "has to find his own identity" before he can learn this. So it is certainly nice to see this deconstructed.
Ooh, Bean-Nighe is suitably awe-inspiring!
"The Destroyer will still be defeated," the tapestry started to reweave itself, differently this time as Bean-Nighe tilted its head in a way that implied a cruel smile, "but it will not be through your prophecy."
Yesssss. Now everyone can find their own way!
And a nice ending, too.
That was certainly well done, and I look forward to whatever more you may write!
(no subject)
Tuesday, 26 March 2024 23:13 (UTC)(no subject)
Tuesday, 26 March 2024 05:07 (UTC)(no subject)
Tuesday, 26 March 2024 05:31 (UTC)NRSG: True enough, I suppose. She may not have hated Faraday during this book, but she still comes across as a punching bag to me... I think Douglass wanted us to sympathise with her, but only giving her trouble certainly comes across as petty.
(no subject)
Tuesday, 26 March 2024 09:44 (UTC)(no subject)
Wednesday, 27 March 2024 01:23 (UTC)(no subject)
Wednesday, 27 March 2024 03:09 (UTC)I mean really.
Though it's just as well for Faraday in the long run considering that the "relationship" with Axis is multiple rapes and physical and emotional abuse which eventually culminate in ATTEMPTED MURDER. Poor Faraday, not getting to enjoy the delights of being with that piece of shit. *eyeroll*
(no subject)
Saturday, 1 June 2024 17:46 (UTC)Yep, girl is absolutely being mind-controlled. That's an excellent way to gain someone's trust, Veremund.
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And in a different book, this would be about the time when Faraday disappears without a trace, and some poor person riding by a few months later will stumble upon her bones. I'm sorry, but if someone is mind-controlling you into doing something you really don't want to do, I'm not going to see that as a positive thing. It's creepy, it's wrong, and I don't like that it's shrugged off so casually.
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I don't think so, Douglass! Ask implies that the subject has free will, and can choose to decline if they want to. But you just essentially hypnotized Faraday; she probably couldn't say no even if she wanted to!
And the way this is set up, it just makes me think he's leading her off into the darkness so he and his friends can have a private little feast.
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Translation: "Don't bother screaming. It won't do you any good." ...I just got the chills.
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Wait, what? Didn't the chapter before say that the barrows were only about a hundred paces high? How slow are they going that it takes them fifteen minutes to get to the top?
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This is indeed quite theatrical, but it just further backs up my belief that this sounds like something seriously bad is about to happen to Faraday. (Also, does no one on the ground notice the lightning or the thunder?)
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She's only bound up in it because Jack forced her into it! He forced her to go to the edge of the forest, he forced her to touch the tree, he forced her to listen to what it said!
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Why would you make your main love interest someone that you hate? Did you make her a main character just so you could have fun abusing her? Because that's what it's starting to look like.
(no subject)
Saturday, 1 June 2024 18:53 (UTC)And in a different book, this would be about the time when Faraday disappears without a trace, and some poor person riding by a few months later will stumble upon her bones. I'm sorry, but if someone is mind-controlling you into doing something you really don't want to do, I'm not going to see that as a positive thing. It's creepy, it's wrong, and I don't like that it's shrugged off so casually.
NRSG: Yes, I do not know what Douglass was going for with this at all, but the result is very bad. (Poor Faraday.)
Indeed! (And "a private little feast" would seem quite likely here...)
Translation: "Don't bother screaming. It won't do you any good." ...I just got the chills.
...that is it indeed. Eek.
Wait, what? Didn't the chapter before say that the barrows were only about a hundred paces high? How slow are they going that it takes them fifteen minutes to get to the top?
Let me see... If the Barrow has a slope of 45 degrees, because it is "quite steep", it would be 141,4 paces long, and that means they are going at... 566 paces per hour or 0.54 kilometres per hour. I think Ogden must be leading her zigzagging across the slope or such, because there is no way this is true.
This is indeed quite theatrical, but it just further backs up my belief that this sounds like something seriously bad is about to happen to Faraday. (Also, does no one on the ground notice the lightning or the thunder?)
It seems not! I think Douglass did not think that through very well.
She's only bound up in it because Jack forced her into it! He forced her to go to the edge of the forest, he forced her to touch the tree, he forced her to listen to what it said!
Exactly!
Why would you make your main love interest someone that you hate? Did you make her a main character just so you could have fun abusing her? Because that's what it's starting to look like.
Ah, but the main love interest will be Azhure, so that will be solved, too! I do think that is why she is a main character...
(no subject)
Tuesday, 30 July 2024 13:25 (UTC)(no subject)
Tuesday, 30 July 2024 16:40 (UTC)NRSG: We may not be supposed to like them right here, but I am sure Douglass did mean for us to see they are doing this for the greater good at some point. (Also, I agree with the SCSF's description of them as the powerful minions of the main villain.)